Guys!!! I GRADUATED!!!!!! I cannot believe that it has been a month since I walked across that stage and my family and friends gathered around me to celebrate. It has been a month since I was handed my diploma from dad (Dr. Costin). It has been a month since I was reminded that even when others told me I couldn’t…God said I could!!
I remember my freshman year when I walked in a class to take a test. My professor told me, I couldn’t do it, I wouldn’t make it, and I should just give up. I remembered feeling like my whole house of cards had come tumbling down. I questioned everything. Do I have what it takes to be in college? Do I have what it takes to be a music therapist? Should I just switch to a communication major? Should I just drop out of school and move to Africa to live on an elephant farm?
I remembered talking to my Dad; he reminded me that if Music Therapy was what God had called me to do, it would happen. He reminded me to let go and let God. I worked hard that year and I passed the class with an A. When others told me, I couldn’t…God said I could.
Let’s skip to junior year…as many of y’all know, my junior year of college was the worst year of my life!! I had a friend passed away from suicide three weeks before finals. You can read about my journey to healing in (Gone to Soon link). I remember that was the day that everything change. I was broken, I was hurting, and I was lost. I remembered questioning everything…if I couldn’t help my friend then how do I expect to help others going through similar things? I remembered being so lost and seriously thought about dropping out of school and staying in California where I was working as a summer missionary. My pastor, my church, and my family reminded me to trust God. If I’m supposed to be a music therapist then it will happen. I needed to let go and let God.
During my super senior year…I had a really good friend (or what I thought was a really good friend) let her insecurities get in the way and we had to end our friendship. That was one of the most painful things I had to do because she was amazing and I wish she could just see that!! In the process of ending our friendship, she told me, I was a horrible music therapist and I would never make it. I remembered her telling me, “if you can’t be there for your friends and be a good friend…how do you expect to help people you don’t know?” I remembered questioning everything! I went back through a whole list of questions that I had asked just four years prior. I was reminded during this time to let go and let God. I let this season of being in God’s word to be a time of encouragement. During this time I learned if God wants it…doors will be open!! So I let go and let God! When others said I couldn’t…God said I could.
I remembered being rejected from 10 different internship sites in the course of a year and a half. Talk about thinking I should have really became a communication major!!! I remembered crying my heart out to the Lord…thinking he had forgotten about me. I remembered telling my parents that I’m their loser child. I started believing the lies my freshman professor told me, I believed that I really wasn’t qualified to help others, I believed the lies my friend told me, I believed everything! I WAS NOT SUPPOSES TO DO THIS!!
I remembered telling myself I should have just switched my major to communication during my freshman year. I told myself that I should just drop out of should and just call it quits.
BUT!!! When others told me I couldn’t…God said I could!! When I was going through every single one of these rocky roads…I couldn’t see what Gos was doing. He put my best friend in the same class as me. We met on the first day of classes and have been best friends since. God has opened doors for me to share my story and bring awareness to mental health since my friend passed away. I got my internship at the perfect time!! If I had started it the year before I may not have been able to finish it with the global pandemic going on. The friends I have made here in Tallahassee…wouldn’t be my friends because a year ago they would still have been in highschool and not going to FSU.
I know I know! I have talked long enough about my journey but I want to encourage you. Even when you feel like you’re all alone, that God doesn’t care and he’s not listening to you. I want you to know that He is working with a way bigger picture than we could ever imagine. It is not easy to let go and let the God! Many times I wanted to just do it my way. I am blown away by how great and awesome God really is!! So don’t give up hope my friend! When others tell you can’t…God says you can!
As Heather Way was called, and as I walked across the stage…I was reminded how truly amazing God is! It might have taken me six years to get to this point, but it was so worth it!
Don’t give up my friend! Let go and let God!!